A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They were walking and arguing along the way. Suddenly they passed a herd of jackasses.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
A scholar calls his wife from his office and says, “nectar, something has recently come up, I understand it’s not my field season, but rather I need to visit my field site for seven days. Please pack my garments, my equipment box, and my blue silk nightwear? I will be home in 1 hour to lift them up.”
Seven days after the field visit he returned. “did you have a decent trip, dear? ” his wife inquired.
“yes, it was a typical field work, you know, work, work and work, but you forgot to pack my blue silk nightwear.” husband explained.
“No, I didn’t” she replied. “I placed them in your equipment box!”
funny marriage jokes.
I saw a lady wearing a ring on the wrong finger and out of curiosity, I asked her why?
She said, “It is because she married a wrong person.”
After 10 years in jail, the husband finally managed to escape out of it.
When he got home, his wife said, “They announced your escape on TV 5 hours ago! Where have you been and with who?
Husband called the police and turned himself in.
Husband, “Call an ambulance! fast. I am having a heart attack”
Wife (took his mobile) , “Quick!! tell me the password”
Husband, “it’s ok. I am feeling better now.”
Husband, “ I lost my wife, she went shopping and has not come back yet”
Inspector, “ What is her height?”
Husband, “ I never checked”
Inspector, “ Slim or healthy?”
Husband, “ not slim, can be healthy”
Inspector, “ the color of the eyes?”
Husband, “ never noticed”
Inspector, “ the color of the hair?”
Husband, “ changes according to the season”
Inspector, “ what was she wearing?”
Husband, “ not sure whether it was a dress or suit”
Inspector, “ was she driving?”
Husband, “ yes”
Inspector, “ Color of the car?”
Husband, “ black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0-liter V6 engine generating “333 horsepower teamed with an eight-speed Tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light-emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door……..and then the husband started crying…
Inspector, “ Don’t worry sir,….we will find your car.”